Posted by: peterhact | February 11, 2010

Sales 101 for me, anyway

When i started selling, it wasn’t in the computer industry, it was in a little store that smelt of oranges, and sold Art, and Gems. Funnily enough, it was called ArtGems. It was in a new complex in Hall, and was surrounded by other new stores, with interesting people and products. I really enjoyed helping people buy things in that store, and the owner, Pat Walker was a very good teacher. She taught me a few fundamentals, that i have used even to this day. Most people buy things because they are drawn to them, either by its appearance, or because they feel connected to it. They don’t care what it will do for them, it is all about their initial attraction.

fast forward to my first computer sales job, for computech. I sold to the hardest market at the time, which was government, and I was a lad of 21 years old. I sold a lot while I was there, not because it sounded great on paper, but because I was listening, and I formed some great relationships with my customers. I was probably one of the youngest sales people in canberra at the time, but I loved my job, and wanted to see how far it would take me. Unfortunately, I had a problem, actually, two. I was developing a drinking habit, and a gambling habit. added to that, i was smoking and I was starting to slide away from the job and into the oblivion that arrogance fueled by alcohol was creating. Basically, I lost the lot.

It took me a while in retail at Harvey norman to work out where I went wrong, and I approached the mainstream ICT community again after hitting rock bottom. This time, I had a plan. I was going to get a job in account management, but I wanted to understand the backend processes first. I worked for Approved Systems, a really good reseller, and learnt as much as I could about account management from my peers, some giants in the industry like Pat Kelly, Bill Murphy, Ralph Scott, Chess Krawczyk. These guys helped me understand what was required from me and from the company.  I moved into an account management role of sorts, looking after the Industry Associations, and was poached by Southmark – to be their Apple representative and sales support. This was the grounding that I needed. I knew nothing about sales support, and even less about the internal system used at Southmark. My big break came in the form of a guardian angel, a really tough one, who was a big softie if you got to see it. Robyn Nancarrow took me under her wing. I am eternally grateful for the insight she provided me, the assistance, the encouragement. when Southmark merged with Fujitsu, I was retrenched.

This ensured that i knew what reality was. I have to point out, this is going somewhere.

I worked for PC Connections, then back into a big player – CSC as sales support again, then to Harris Technology as an Account Manager, then to OPC, then to Express Data, where I am now.

That, in a nutshell is my IT Industry experience.  17, no, 18 years…

Now for the other sales jobs, that you may not know about…

I worked for a door to door company, commission only, traveling around ACT / NSW selling of all things, Torches and calculators. Not an easy sell by any stretch of the imagination. But I did well.

I worked for an insurance company or two, one not so good, one a market leader, and got to see the differences between a script and free discussion in sales.

I was a kitchen hand and worked on a bay marie – serving food. this is, funnily enough, the easiest selling job i have ever had.

What did I learn from all this? what is the secret to selling well?

here are my fundamentals that i still use.

1. Thou Shalt not Lie – Honestly, the biggest mistake a sales person can make. Lie, and you will be found out. And then, your name is mud. People you never heard of will be talking about you, and it is never positive. The only way to save yourself is to work really hard at redemption, and that can take many years to do.

2. Thou shalt not steal – There are two types of theft, stealing from the company usually springs to mind, that is just dumb. The other is found in the hearts of the arrogant ambitious sales person – “I could look after that account far better than the person currently looking after it, I would be hitting target if I had that account…” You have accounts given to you, or taken away from you by your manager. No-one else. To covet another account is leaving your accounts out in the breeze for someone else to get. Focus on what you have, not what someone else has.

3. Thou shalt admit when thou don’t know – If you don’t know the answer, admit it. Try to find the answer for the client.

4. Thou shalt treat the customer as one of your family – Not literally, but how you would treat them if they were your brother or sister. with respect and honesty. I class most of my clients as my friends, when I am at work. The friendships extend to a couple outside of work, but that is after many years of engagement with them.

5. Thou shalt ask for help when you need it – If you are in trouble, snowed, unable to meet deadlines, ask for help. If you feel you need training in a product or service, ask for help. Asking for help is better than failing because you didn’t.

6. Thou shalt LISTEN – says it all.

7. Thou shalt pay Attention to Number 6. – PAY ATTENTION!! LISTEN!!

8. Thou shalt help the customer understand the proposal – if the proposal is in your own eyes a thing of beauty, remember that the person reading it may have no clue about the technology, the jargon and what it is you are trying to achieve for them. If they are interested, sit down with them and go through the proposal so that they completely understand. Some instances this isn’t an option, but always ask if there is a chance you can discuss what you have submitted with the client.

9. Thou shalt treat the customer with dignity and respect – don’t badmouth the client. ever. telling another client about how bad the first one is in your patch may end badly. They may know each other. Aaaah!

10. Thou shalt have fun! – at the end of the day, sales is fun, if you make it fun. Enjoy yourself. Don’t stress out about things you cannot sort out, accept that you will have bad days, but always try to be positive.

I have read a few books over the years, some of which have stuck in my memory – worth a look if you can find them.

The power of positive thinking – Rev NV Peale

Sucking the Marrow out of Life – John Maclean

One minute salesman

The success system that never fails – W Clement Stone

Thus endeth the lesson….

Posted by: peterhact | November 28, 2015

Buying local, after paying far too much

I used to have a very large ISP, who treated my business as a number, and me as an idiot. Countless times when diagnosing why I couldn’t connect to the internet, I would phone the “help”desk and be asked to follow a series of tasks. These tasks were written down on a script at the other end, so deviation was not acceptable. It reminded me of a Douglas Adams reference in Hitchhikers Guide to the “Share and enjoy” sequence when Arthur is trying to make tea with a synthesis machine, although the ISP would tell me to restart my router. Every. single. time.

We’d go through the  script, are the lights on, is power / phone cable connected (well it better be for the lights to be on, duh), have you reset your router? Why would I reset my router? why, when looking up problems with the internet, did my router need to be reset like a magic pill? I started to get a bit jaded. “yes, I have restarted it.” oh, okay. lying to the ISP would be all right when it came to a part of the sequence in their script. (it may cause all sorts of issues for them, but I felt better) Then they would check the line and tell me that there was an outage. Really. you don’t say.

Then, there was the usage issue. I found that I was chewing through the allocated 50Gb a month far too quickly, but there was no reason to. So I paid a “little bit” extra, and they told me when I was close to quota. It turned out that they weren’t giving me my allowance of 50gb, and the monthly amount paid wasn’t making much sense. so I decided to change suppliers. The question was whether to deal with another large company or someone who wanted my business, who would treat me as a customer and make the mental leap that I wasn’t clueless.

After considering a couple of options, I chose a local supplier. The first thing I noticed was that I had been paying far too much for the internet. My allowance was increased by paying less. I received access to a faster, cheaper and more reliable service. This was a bonus, as most of my downloads were just browsing and social media, but my kids were wanting to use Minecraft on i-devices and it was getting pretty slow for everything else .DSC_0018

The little ISP I chose to use is called EveryNet. Back then, they were a small company starting out. Now, they are a larger company that can connect across Australia, including the new NBN service. (When the NBN finally arrives where I am, I can connect, but I still have TBA years to wait – wondering how long TBA will turn out to be, maybe my grandkids will enjoy it)

EveryNet have established themselves in my opinion by being contactable via social media, and a helpdesk number devoid of scripts. The immediate assumption is that the issue is at their end, not mine, even when it is patently clear that it is something that has happened to my router (a flash and a small mushroom cloud of smoke is a definite given that the router has died), but I am treated as a customer and not as a router resetting idiot.

A couple of years ago, I worked for a company that decided that they wanted to be an ISP, thinking that it was easy money. The company failed and it was determined that it was not as easy as first thought. This gave me a better understanding about the internet provision business, and that ISPs need to be Customer centric to be successful. EveryNet is.

I wrote this not because I am being paid for it (I am not) or that I am working for EveryNet (I do not), but because the more people using this company means that the pricing I have remains. Keeping local money in local business keeps the country ticking along. It also keeps local companies running local help-desks that aren’t staffed overseas, and it gives my kids a future in whatever career they choose. Right now, it appears that is going to be building a house out of cubes.

 

 

Through the kindness of a very old friend, I was given an opportunity to re-connect with others from my past. It brought back many great memories of camaraderie from those days, and a couple of regrets. I never told the girl I had a crush on that I did, and time marched on. 

Actually, there were two girls that I really fancied, in a awkward teenage way.

 Fast forwarding over nearly 30 years of experience, and I find that I am now in a similar pause moment of my life, but there are a couple of things that have changed, and I am grateful for the life lessons I have learned and the treasures I have gained. My children are my treasures. They are more precious than any riches I could earn.

I am, however, wondering what my life would have been like if I were the popular kid, if I had lots of friends and girls had adored me? Would I have had a different life? Would I have ended up spending several years in isolation, supported by alcohol and dreaming of a future without me in it? 

These are the what if moments that make me doubt me. And then, like a strange reset, I don’t have the time to doubt myself anymore. I just have to head onwards and upwards, rise above the crap moments, and leave the bad bits of the past there. Recalling the good moments helps me, but I can’t always remember the good bits, and there were some nasty moments that I’d rather forget.

So thanks to an old friend’s kindness, I have old friends to reconnect with, memories to remember, and hope that the future is going to be as great as I thought it would, almost 30 years ago.

Posted by: peterhact | December 2, 2013

Jobsearch, Revisited….

Sometimes, when I am looking for a job, I actually have one and I should really be thinking about making the one I have work, rather than look for a new one. Other times, like now, I don’t have a job, and I am competing with all those buggers who have a job – which makes it just that little bit harder. (ironic, as well)

I went through my list of qualifications, looking to see where I went wrong.

Back in the day, I was a YMCA Leader. I was responsible for a group of youngsters who, for various reasons, had trouble being so far away from home. (about 50km out of canberra) There were kids who wet the bed, others who had nightmares and, for whatever reason, one kid who had smuggled enough sugar to crystallise himself. Every camp, different children, same story. My role at the time was to help these kids adjust to independence. I was the one that taught them how to use the washing machine, for those wet sheets and Pajamas, how to not have a last cup of cocoa before bed or a piece of candy or how to not overeat at dinner. Little known fact: kids that stuff themselves before bedtime end up having nightmares or throwing up, or, in those hideous instances  that gave me nightmares, both.

I was their leader. I was who they came to when they were being bullied, when they were scared of an activity, (painting is scary. it is.) and I would help them deal with it. I didn’t yell at them, I didn’t bribe them (remember the bit about nightmares and throwing up?), I listened. I gave them constructive solutions to the problem, and we worked together to solve them.

These were great days. I was being shaped from a leader of children to a leader of people. I was developing my interaction skills, I was finding my niche, I was heading for a future that would see me helping people. I saw children that, faced with obstacles like bedwetting, like kids that lacked necessary skills to perform a task, learn. They, I like to think, came away from the camps better than when they arrived. Confident. enabled. socially able to engage and interact with their peers. There were kids that stood out, like Michael Milton, who had no concept of failure and was committed to going somewhere. I look back at his time at a camp I was at and there was the beginning of a person who was driven to succeed and be someone.

I met great leaders, I met great kids, I was being paid in experience to have a holiday in the mountains, down at the beach and, once, on an exchange program that saw me as a guest of a camp in queensland.

These were good days – my holidays were paid for, and I was learning. Unfortunately, learning ended when I left school. Back then, Employers didn’t like the idea of losing a staff member for a week in the school holidays. They wanted you to save up your leave and use it once a year. There were no remote desktops, there was no internet. So I had to give up being a leader and find something else that could fit in with my employment. I discovered sailing. More importantly, I discovered teaching kids and adults how to sail at the YMCA sailing club. No camps, just the chance to sail, swim and enjoy helping others again. (of course, the lake was safe to swim in back then)

So… what happened to the sailing club? was this job my job for weekends? was this my future of weekends sailing and weeks working? sounded pretty good then, it would be fantastic now. What happened to me was that I found out about girls. and alcohol. and what happens when your parents break up. I stopped sailing, I stopped leading and I withdrew into a mix of alcohol and late nights. no way that was a good combination.

I have spoken about my  past before. not going to re-hash the dark days, but instead I am going to talk about my present days and my future.

Presently, I am looking for a job. I am submitting applications, receiving a very large amount of rejections and am wondering whether the light at the end of the tunnel is actually my light shining on the caved in tunnel. I am not giving up – or giving in, but I need to work, partially for the satisfaction of a job well done, the feeling I get which I guess is pride, but also for the more mundane reasons like paying a mortgage, loans, credit cards, bills and keeping myself and the search and destroy cat module fed.

What I have to work out is how do I change me to be better? what do I need to do to become an employable person? is there someone out there who is saying, this guy is the guy we need for our company or department. Let’s hire him.

I am wearing a sign now. It sits above my heart and says “will work for money” – I can see it, why can’t anyone else?

Posted by: peterhact | November 22, 2013

When should you realise that a day is a bad day?

The thing is, I didn’t realise it was going to be a bad day when I woke up. But there were some deadset giveaways as the day progressed.

The Great Exploding Toffee recipe.
When I first saw the recipe, it was called “easy baked toffee”. That should have been the first clue. Nothing that says “easy” ever is. I followed the recipe religiously, after all, what is the point of deviating from a recipe? that only leads to trouble. The toffee was caramel, ready for the oven. The setting was correct, the oven had heated nicely before I put it in…

I checked it a couple of times, then, just before the allotted 15mins had elapsed, I heard a strange thump. I turned off the oven (it is gas), opened the door…

Oh.

Perfect toffee. The only problem was that the toffee should be in the tray. not over the entire surface of the oven’s interior. Cue the hammer and chisel.

Tick that one off my list of surprising things for the day.

Then there was the “exciting and awe inspiring storm that changed direction”.

I am the type of person that stands on mountains, enjoying the vista of a really great sunset, sunrise or storm. I take photographs so that I can remember these events when I can’t use the photographs in my head. This storm, however, has been hardcopied into my brain. I am never going to forget the lightning, oh, the lightning. I was taking photos of a batch of lightning off to the right of me, the left was sunny and calm. then, the storm changed direction. instead of being in a happy place where I could watch the storm pass by, I was now in the death zone, the weakest link, anyone for fried photographer?

I am not kidding. There are mad photographers like me, who get a kick out of the lightning and being close enough to feel the change in air pressure, but even they would have been as terrified as I was. The scene was just nuts. clear, sunny sky with great big bolts of death. I mean, come on, it is supposed to be black and dark and nasty so that you know that you are being an idiot in a storm. Did I mention that I have a metal tripod and a very big golf umbrella? or that I was scuttling like a crab back to the car, as it was hailing? Not the best place to be.

After I had finally got back into the car, after a couple of eek! moments as I tried to untangle myself from the camera, the tripod and the umbrella as the lightning zipped in front of me, not to the side or above, in. front. of. me. I moved around to the other side of the top hill, to wait out the hail. (and to quietly sob a bit, let’s be honest)

Then the storm passed, as storms do. And I could see perfect lightning on the hills, I could see it, but the setting sun stopped me from capturing it as I have no filters. So I took photos of rainbows, sunsets and interesting clouds. And the sun set. and the lightning stopped.

Tick.

Couldn’t get any worse as a day goes, right?

err. wrong.

The Search and Destroy Cat Module was at home. He is getting very forgetful. He seems to forget daily that the litter box is a mere meter from his bed that is on top of the washing machine. He also seems to forget that the dried food, (misnamed cat nuts) are furball variety for old cats. Just setting the scene here.

I came home, went to check he was ok, opened the laundry door…

I trod on something (I know what it was), slid into the laundry and found that not only had he not eaten the cat nuts, he had not visited the litter box. And by not eating the cat nuts, he had had a yak. All.over.my.washing.machine. Furballs and urgh.

I cleaned the floor. I haven’t cleaned the washing machine, but I will have to today. Oh. and rewash the load of clothes that were in there. with disinfectant.

Tick.

Then there was the surprise that at some stage before I went out, which I realised too late whilst I was out, I had left the toilet window slightly ajar to catch some cooling breezes for the house. Guess who had to clean the toilet and mop the floor?

That’s right, the cat.

Posted by: peterhact | November 5, 2013

Fencing! and it doesn’t involve colorbond or palings…

I first started mucking around with Fencing when I was younger, I helped build brush fences. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the early starts and the early finishing times. There. Reference to the Fencing that most people think I mean when I mention it.

I am talking about the other Fencing, the one that builds lightning quick reflexes, gets you fit and is so very addictive.

I am talking about the sport.

Funny thing that it isn’t a mainstream sport. Australia has attended every single modern olympics to compete in fencing, never won a medal, but we keep entering and trying. As for the Paralympics, we seem to have several medallists in their ranks and it is a surprise to think that there seems to be far more interest in the sport from this other perspective.

How did I get involved? My partner is a fencer of high calibre. She has won a gold Medal, a Silver Medal and numerous other state based accolades. I am very proud of her, and she initially tried to get me involved in the sport, but I resisted. I came up with a fool-proof plan – I wouldn’t pick up a sword, if she didn’t take photographs. You can tell that would be a fail, wouldn’t you? It was. The bug had already bitten when I was taking photos of fencing, looking for the great hit shot, the one that would say “this is what the sport is all about”. I found that I was a bit of an outsider – the fencers could try and explain what the different moves were, but I had no clue about the finesse and agility of a fencer, as I wasn’t one.

Then, She showed my kids Foam sword fencing, so that they could get an idea of the sport. My daughter was hooked and wanted to fence straight away. Then, my partner was asked to take photos at an event and I knew that I was going to learn how to fence. I have had 3 lessons, I have faced small opponents, adult opponents and tonight I got to face off with some serious fencers. The difference is that the hits I managed to get were priceless to me, as a beginner, and the hits I received are going to be bruises, which I will wear proudly as a mark that I can fence and that anyone can learn.

My daughter fences with me. she is young, has no fear and loves the sport. I must admit that I do too.

In December, the National Championships will be held in Canberra. As a beginner, I am not able to compete (if I did I would have more bruises, but these wouldn’t be so good) and have to wait till I am a bit better, but I will be there to take photos. The event is open to the public, anybody can attend to watch and if your child takes an interest, maybe I will see you there or at one of the many clubs in Canberra.

It is a great sport, it is fast, it is physically and mentally challenging and I wish I had taken the opportunity before, instead of waiting till a deal fell through.

If you are interested in seeing the sport in all its glory at the National Championships, check out the link. http://www.actfa.org.au/home/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=672&Itemid=117

If you want to know more about beginner classes, there are links on the site.

Come and join me. Did I mention that Fencing is an indoor sport? no 6am freezing in winter next to a muddy field, the sport is played indoors, at night. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

Posted by: peterhact | September 26, 2013

The black dog bit me today. Hard.

The black dog of depression and I have had an uneasy truce for a while now. It walks beside me, behind me and sometimes, lurks in the bushes ahead on the path of my life. I am happy, I am moving with purpose and then the damn thing jumps out and bites me. Bang goes the self confidence, bang goes the positive attitude and back to self doubt, lack of confidence and I disintegrate.

That happened today.

The damn black dog took its time, I must admit. I had been expecting it earlier this year, but it seemed to have other things that had distracted it, other people to bring down in a flurry of arms, legs and tears. It was only a matter of time that its attention turned to me again. You see, this year hasn’t been all bad, I met someone who fills me with light and love and happiness. She is a really big part of my world now, and I haven’t seen her for a little while, I have been sick, she has been working and the tiny crack in my armour formed – and the black dog bit me. Hard.

It took me a while to get it off. I am still shaken by the encounter. It sunk its teeth deep into my soul, made me doubt myself, doubt the future, and I tried desperately to escape the poison that it injected into me. I felt as if I was a dwindling spark, a flame that had burned proudly, strongly and had been all but extinguished. 

The Black dog and I aren’t talking right now. It is sitting in the corner and I am ignoring it. The crack in the armour has been welded shut, and I am reading my self help book that I always refer to when that damn dog does this. I will be better tomorrow, but tonight, I almost drowned out its presence in booze. I have a strong will, but after the past events this month, I was severely weakened.

You see, for the first time in my life, my employer went into administration. My sketchy understanding of what happens when a company does that was absolutely dead wrong. It is not like a retrenchment. I don’t get paid, I hadn’t been paid for a month in total and I was living on handouts. All my new future plans got put on hold, and that really pissed me off – I wanted to expand my “helping people for free” into “getting actually paid for helping” in the form of a company. That will have to wait.

So tonight I feel sorry for myself. Tomorrow, I will feel better, stronger and I will drag myself up and get on with the current needs, future plans and my life.

That damn Black Dog. Go chase cars, will you? 

 

Posted by: peterhact | July 21, 2013

Can I have a new years resolution now, Please?

Every year, I resolve to be better, to do something I have put off and be the better for it. This usually occurs on the first of January, with little or no success. So I have decided that the best time to make a resolution is in the financial year, not the calendar one.

In Canberra, it is currently winter. This is an ideal time to make resolutions to complete in spring and summer. I mean, when the sun is shining, who wants to set plans for the future when you could be outside, gardening, hiking or lazing on the beach? Not me. This is why I fail my resolutions. I have achieved a couple, but the big ones have been left to fester and grow blue with inaction. I have ideas now for resolutions, and they aren’t things like eating less (doing that), exercising more (doing that too) or quitting smoking (actually doing that too). They are the ones that really matter just as much as the 3 I mentioned, but I just don’t seem to get there.

So, Happy new financial year. I have my resolutions all sorted out. They will be completed by June 30.

I will take my personal journey of discovery and find out what it is I want. I will get my finances under control and I will be better for it. I will stop worrying about the future and live for today. They don’t sound much like resolutions, but they are a big step for me at least. Oh, and I will finally sort out the garden and make it a place that doesn’t make me cringe every time I look at it. (right now, in winter, the weeds have all died, but come spring and they will be back with a vengeance) I will also learn to not be a bedclothes hog and remember that if I sleep on my back, I will wake the kids up with my unholy snoring. (they have complained about hearing me from their rooms, it sounds like I am cutting down a redwood, with a rusty saw)

I will sort out other resolutions as they come to mind.

I have a year to achieve a lot, so I am going to start with a little one that I have forgotten all about. I will go to bed before midnight.

Posted by: peterhact | May 18, 2013

Hobbies

I have a couple of Hobbies. I like to cut and polish stones, I like to take photographs. The two will never become one, as photos of stones just aren’t the same.

I have recently been introduced to another person’s hobby, Fencing. (Not erecting a fence, using a sword) I had never been interested in fencing – I mean, I would watch it on a telecast of the olympics, but as for actually paying attention to the sport? not for me.

So much for that idea. Once you go to a training session, a competition, and watch these athletes (these people are not just hobbyists) as they bout, the whole thing becomes clearer that it is a sport, it is very demanding, challenging and rewarding. Pirate movies have a lot to answer for – fencing is not about swash or buckle.

I decided, with some prompting, to take photos of the fencers. I cleared it with them.

I found that I was being drawn into the strategy, the tactical approaches, the fluidity of the fencing bout. These people move like greased lightning. I can capture the sword at impact, but at speed? never.

Here is an example of the images I am capturing. It was from a recent competition, and it was a small moment in time that shows what everyone thinks happens all the time: a hit on the visor by a sword.

 

DSC06745

 

This was a low light bout, the only bit of luck I had was that the swords reflected any light in the sports hall, low as it was.

Fencing. Who knew that it was so fast paced, so energetic and an absolute pleasure to watch? The fencers, obviously.

 

 

Posted by: peterhact | November 4, 2012

How do you create a feral cat? Answer: buy a cat enclosure…

When the S&D Cat module had escaped into the wild blue yonder, for the umpteenth time, A cat enclosure was purchased. This was ancient history – and bears no resemblance to the current version of his “stay close to home in case I move without him” theory. After all, if I pack up, he will be primed to move. The cat enclosure, or raptor cage as we came to refer to it had two marked impacts: 1. the cat couldn’t reach the kids and 2. they damn well knew it.

Putting fingers into the cage became a new sport – one that was akin to inserting sharpened stakes. The cat could see the fingers, but he just couldn’t reach them. He knew that if he did, it would involve Shouting and Crying, which would  probably end in being fed gruel and sleeping in the enclosure.

It appeared to him to be a jail – what was wrong with the “Leaping The Fence Exercise Guide For Owners?”  That was a bestseller. Many of our friends had cats that had subscribed to the follow up series “Now That You Are Out, Climb A Tree And Cry A Lot”,  or the ever popular “Dogs: A Survival Technique Involving  Fluffyitis” or the lesser known “Time To Go Home And Sit On The Front Mat, Yowling To Come In”. He was providing a public service to all cats, and if we hadn’t installed the raptor cage, maybe the world would have been graced with his “Songs To Sing On The Fence At 3am, With Bonus Violin And Bagpipe Imitation”  album. The world has no clue how close they came to that particular form of torture. I do. He sounds me out on a few every night, when he wants to come in, go out or just when I have dropped off to sleep.

There was the impromptu concert he held, but he had to retire after a well aimed shoe knocked him off the fence. I gave the neighbor back the shoe the next day…. It was very funny, but he didn’t think so, after he noticed that the shoe looked like it had been through a shredder. next time, he would use a brick. Then, to his relief, we moved.

Back to the title. The S&D cat module was feral. probably before the enclosure, but I can’t blame the pet store, after all, they turn out heaps of well adjusted cats, I just lucked out. Yay, me.

Can you tell I am happy with the luck I have had re well adjusted cats?

How do you convert a nasty cat into a feral one?

Easy. lock him in a cage and then, when he is used to it, after years of conditioning, take the damn thing away.

He won’t lie on the cat bed anymore, he lurks around the house and leaps onto toes,  I have damaged him a lot.

(He has damaged me a lot, too)

Now he is watching me from on top of the pantry. Standing by for “Cat Who Thinks He Can Fly – An Autobiography”…

Posted by: peterhact | October 5, 2012

Cats and water

When it gets warmer, the problem of where the S&D Cat Module gets a drink from becomes apparent. Cats don’t like water, at least he doesn’t.

There are no pools, there are no ponds. Drinking water out of a bowl is fine, if it isn’t yours. I watched another cat, at another house, drink out of a bucket.

Stupidly, I assumed that all cats drink out of buckets. The bucket was overturned on the first day. He drank out of the puddle. Every morning, the bucket was put out. Every night, it was empty. I thought he was sick. Then, one morning, I put out the bucket only to hear it crash over. He was making a puddle. Aaargh! He makes the puddle, drinks in the morning and then I really don’t know what he does for water in the afternoon. Probably hits up small children or passerby for their water.

That could be a problem.

Today, when I got home, he was in the bucket. it was upside down and he was a snail cat. (if he had left the damn thing full of water, he could be drinking out of it all day, but no) I keep Breaking The Rules. Laughing at a cat, no matter how funny he appears is as bad as stepping on a tail when hanging out the washing, although it has been pointed out that when hanging out the washing, I am looking at the line, not my feet and their relative location to said tail.

He was stuck in the bucket. A hairy turtle. I couldn’t help him.

When I had wiped the tears out of my eyes and stopped laughing (finally), I tried to extricate him from the bucket. Not an easy task, as the front was filled with claws and indignation, and the back was a bucket. There was a moment where I thought he was out, but the suction dragged him back in. I threatened him with water, I squeezed the bucket, and had to retire for dettol and bandages.

Then it hit me.

Food. Food will get him out. I put food in his bowl. There was a scrabbling noise on the pavers. I imagined him dragging himself towards the bowl. errr. I cracked up again. There was an organic noise and then he was in the door, doing the snorkel maneuver that seems to be his alone. (cat is eating so fast, you expect him to pass out, the nose and mouth is in the food, no way can he be breathing)

So I need a new option. The bucket is a bad idea – it is very funny and we all know where that will end, don’t we kids?

That’s right. Dettol shares and bandages.

Maybe I could try a bird water feeder. Although, that may entice birds. And the end result is a bird phobic, dehydrated cat.

Icecream container. perfect.

Surely he couldn’t fit in that, could he? errr…

Older Posts »

Categories

%d bloggers like this: