Posted by: peterhact | October 20, 2009

whilst I cannot sleep….

I am waiting, yet again for the pain killers to kick in. and they aren’t.

So, while I am waiting, I thought I would chuck in some pomes. I know, that isn’t how you spell it….

summer storm

I am sitting on my chair, in the backyard,
watching the storm roll slowly over the mountains.
watching the sunset get obscured by the dark velevet of rain,
watching the sky fill with black…

There is a flash!
the sky lights up in a web of lightning,
leaving trails like dew on a spiderweb in its wake.
It is miles away,
but I can smell the rain, the moisture,
and I know it will be here soon.

I breathe slowly and calmly.
I feel the light breeze spring up,
long before the rain will come,
long before I must take cover.

and now, as the sun has sunk below the mountain ridge,
the storm turns on the light show,
pink, blue and white flashes,
all accompanied by the low rumble,
that grows as it comes ever closer.

It was a perfect summer’s day,
the sun was hot,
the shade was welcomed,
and now, the storm brings me the promise of an easy sleep.

In my reverie, I miss the signs,
and then it is upon me,
raw and powerful, the wind whips my hair,
the lightning dances over my head,
and the blessed rain begins to fall.

I could go inside,
I could hide from the rain and lightning,
But I choose not to,
not yet, not before I have cooled,
not before I am ready.

I get up from my chair,
wander inside,
close the door,
and wait….

the storm comes in all its magnificence,
lightning and thunder and power,
rain drowns out all sound,
as it pounds my roof.

and then,
it is gone,
the ground is cooled, the sky is clear,
and I can open my windows to welcome the breeze,
and I can sleep.

Peter Holland
21/10/09 2.37am

Driven away

I had seen a glimpse,
of my future,
a world of children,
laughter and love.

I had seen a glimpse of my dreams,
my desires,
and I wanted the dream to come true.

I was blessed with a little girl,
her eyes like her mother’s,
her heart was her own,
and she loves me.

I was happy, with my daughter,
my wife,
my life.

But we decided to have another,
a friend for my daughter,
a friend for us all,
and we tried again.

This child had golden hair,
and spoke to me in my dreams,
telling my not to cry,
telling me it was ok,
telling me that it would be better.

I never met them,
never got to stroke their golden hair,
never got to show them the world,
never got over losing them.

I retreated from the world,
hid from others,
clung to my daughter,
neglected my wife.

We tried again,
more out of desperation,
to heal the wound between us,
and to make our family whole.

We found that where there should be one,
there was actually two,
two little people,
to learn from us,
and us from them,
and still I neglected my wife.

The twins were born,
naturally,
easily,
no real complications.

and then it began.

my wife,
my rock,
my love,
my soul mate,
started to leave me.

she was dying,
losing far too much blood,
and she was slipping away from me,
and i sat,
held her hand,
and cried.

I was exhausted when they stabilised her,
they let me sleep in a chair,
next to her bed,
and I dreamt.

I dreamt of a golden haired child,
they told me not to cry,
that it would be ok,
that it would be better.

I woke,
so did my wife,
I never told her of the dream,
never mentioned the child,
never opened my heart,
and I drove her away.

Peter Holland
21/10/09 2.53am

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Responses

  1. Wow. I was touched, Peter. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.


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