Posted by: peterhact | April 25, 2010

She was only a cat, but still my little girl…

We picked her up at the RSPCA, this little tabby who immediately snuggled under my leather jacket – she chose us, not the other way around. We had originally gone to find a friend for our male tabby – a monster of a cat my wife had named “buttons” – i still don’t know why, but that is his name. we had him since he was a kitten, and, as our working lives had become busier and busier, we felt that he needed a friend… Along came this little tabby girl, this shining light of a happy, cuddly cat, and, as it was my turn to name the new cat, I called “pinkle purr” after the cat from the AA Milne poem.

They had a rocky start these two, fought like, well, cats. But over the years, they grew to love each other. He stopped trying to beat her up, and she stopped beating him up. We never knew how old she actually was, but she was a really purry friend. When our daughter was born, she was protected at all times from buttons. Pinkle never let him near her. We got an outdoor cat enclosure built. They would sit out there in the sun, and watch their world, the birds, the flowers and the changing seasons.

we moved here only last year. Both cats were vibrant, happy and explored the house and the backyard, but only if they could see us. They never strayed, they were happy, they didn’t need to chase birds,  they were well fed, and they were content. In December, we separated. buttons took it in his stride, but pinkle seemed to shrink, she missed my wife, and she started to lose weight. She aged visibly, and started to lose more and more weight. I managed to get her eating again, but she never really recovered. I brought her into the house when i was at home on weekends,  and she would help me pull weeds in the backyard – supervisory role, but she watched what I did closely.

Then the change really kicked in. she lost more weight. she tolerated my sons picking her up, she never scratched them, or bit, she seemed to understand that they loved her very much. they would cuddle her and pat her, and she would answer with a near deafening purr, which would shake her whole body. She woke up one morning, and her face was distended, she had an abscess, and she had trouble walking. I bathed her every morning and night. I treated her abscess – knowing the damn thing would probably break during the day. It did. she was peeing on the floor, she couldn’t make it to her litter box any more. Even before then, before the saddest day of all, she turned away from my kids, she wouldn’t let them pat her. that was last week.

She finally spent time with me, after I had bathed her for bed, snuggling and purring against me, on thursday night, and if I was smarter at the time, I would have realised that she knew the time was coming, and it was her way of saying goodbye. She “kissed” me, something she had stopped doing – she would bunt my head, gently, for a scratch of the ears, or the neck. but she didn’t want her neck scratched – the abscess had only burst during the day, and it was causing her pain. She ate a handful of her food, and I stayed with her till she fell asleep, trying to get her to eat just a little more, trying to will her better.

I had taken the Friday off to spend with my children, but, when i came to let the cats out of the laundry, to be in the sunshine, buttons ran straight out, but pinkle couldn’t get up. she couldn’t raise her head, she was grunting, and, as I bathed her to clean her matted fur, she started to convulse. I called the vet we took both cats to. They told me she was dying. They also told me that they couldn’t put her to sleep for me. We weren’t “longtime” clients. I phoned the RSPCA, the place where she had come from, and they agreed to see and help her. I then phoned my wife, in case she wanted to say goodbye. She did, and after getting the kids minded, we both took pinkle on her last journey to the vet, and she finally went to sleep, at peace at last.

She wasn’t just a cat, she was one of our fur kids, before we had children. she always wanted to be with us. and I was glad that we were both there to say goodbye to our little girl.

And the next day, was my birthday. Just like her, not wanting to disrupt my life, just be able to spend some last precious time with me and my wife.

And Buttons is still looking for her. I told him tonight that he will see her again one day. he knows she is gone, he seems to think she will come back.

My daughter believes that she is in heaven. Up in the sky, looking down on us when we think about her with love. Lying in the sunshine, and chasing butterflies and moths…



  1. A very moving post

    Not sure why your Vet wouldnt help in you poor Cat’s time of need though, id be looking for a new one

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Peter Holland. Peter Holland said: goodbye to my little kitteh. miss you already. […]

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