Posted by: peterhact | December 20, 2011

The Christmas Letter – well, it is that time again….


Dear family and friends,

Well, this year has been a bit of a bumpy ride yet again. The Search and Destroy Cat Module is still with us – despite varied attempts to foster him out, let him run away, setting him on the door to door salesmen (hey, they put down dogs for attacking them), and many other ideas that have been pondered and then  discarded.

With the house up for sale, I have been forced to set him up with a bachelor pad in the garage – now he won’t even dream of coming back in. He seems to have embraced feral behavior (I always suspected he was, but dismissed it as a flight of fancy) to the point that I have to shove his food through the slot in the door, with a long pole. Using my hands ends badly. The last batch of scratches are starting to heal, at long last.

The kids have reacted differently to the house sale, we have gone through several stages – Denial, after all, daddy always is cleaning the house anyway, Pleading, where will my bed go, my clothes, my toys? This house is just perfect daddy, why do we need to move? Sabotage, if I draw over the walls, tip out the contents of my cupboards, daddy will be too busy to sell the house. Now, we are in the emotional blackmail sneak attack from the uneasy alliance phase. The Search and Destroy Cat Module and the kids are confusing me with outward displays  of affection and an over the top level of purring – something I never thought I would see.

My standard response is tried and true – “Mummy wants the house to be sold, kids, there is nothing I can do, I can’t buy her out”. I sometimes wonder what carnage this wreaks when they get home to mummy’s house. oh, well.

I have changed jobs again. The last one retrenched me. This new one is challenging, but I am doing my best to succeed. With no kids in the house, I am working late and starting early, and I sometimes wish I had the kids more often, so that I could be a normal worker. Fat Chance. (I get the kids every weekend)

I saw my mother last weekend. She came over from interstate to visit. Strange that she came the week before the week before Christmas.  The kids other grandparents are coming over after Christmas. Strange that both sets that live interstate missed the actual time. I blame daylight saving. I have checked my curtains – they don’t appear to be fading. (Well, I would have if they hadn’t been replaced by wooden blinds)

The weather here is Barmy. (NOT a typo) It is summer and it is as cold as autumn. Where are the high 30 degree Celsius days? When is summer coming? I am having a bit of trouble understanding climate change, we seem to be worse off after they banned plastic bags. Now, I have to pay for them, the weather has lost the plot, and it seems that the hot summer days that make Canberra bearable are avoiding us.

If it doesn’t warm up, I will be forced to migrate. Not to Queensland, but north, if you can believe it. Canberra North of the Lake. First of all the house has to sell.

The kids are all fine, I will organise a photo album when I remember to edit it when they aren’t around, as they seem to be mini models right now, The youngers are starting preschool, the older is in big kid school, and she has homework. Sigh. I can help her with reading, but, as you all know, based on my budgeting skills since the separation, her mummy will need to help her with the maths. I didn’t learn good in skool, but I blame the bullies, the weather, the way I was taught, anything I can. (it has nothing to do with my dyslecksia disklxia lack of a good spell checker)

I wish you all the best for the Christmas period. I hope that 2012 is better than this year, that you get everything you deserve want, that you have great big sores health and plenty of rainy, cold & miserable sunny days.

Best regards.

It appears that I have sent the draft out. The crossouts? Oh, just a few jokes. This version is the real one.

It appears that I have sent out the draft AGAIN. I give up. read it however you like.

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