Posted by: peterhact | February 25, 2012

The uneasy alliance has ended…. Badly

We were traveling so well. The house hadn’t been sold, the kids were happy, the Search and Destroy Cat module was happy, albeit smelly. Then, Horror of Horrors, a bid came in. we countered it. The interested party went higher, and I betrayed the Kids and the Cat.

Sold. The house is going, we have to move on.

The funny thing is that at the last exhibition, the S&D Cat module went into riot control mode. This involves cat flatulence – I equate it to a furry tear gas canister. He apparently, without warning, dropped a large gaseous cloud at the back door. The screen was closed, but screens can’t hold back the godawful smell. The interested parties were diving for the front door and fresh air. I had set up a deodoriser that gave up on contact. The House was cleared in his standard timeframe – 3 seconds.

One party recommended that the Agent prod the cat with a stick to see if he was actually still alive. Too late, this is the cat equivalent of “pull my finger” and the odor intensified. I came home to find small stunned wrens in the backyard and a feeling of dread came over me. Surely he didn’t do what I thought he did? Opening the sliding door confirmed my fears. I fitted the nose clip I keep near the back door and entered the house, my eyes were streaming, my vision was blurred and I had to mouth breathe.

Opening the windows just shared it with the neighbors. They are pretty happy for me to have sold the house – at least this is what they have told me. I doubt that they are, I just think they want to breathe clean air before the woodfires of winter kick in.

Because I feel bad about selling the house, I let the cat in for a bit of quality time. Mistake. huge mistake. He can type. Makes no sense, but he hits the keys. so I was reading tweets to him, when one came in from @firstdogonmoon – he insisted I open it, there was an  image, and he was startled to see a dog looking at him. Fluffyitis kicked in, I got scratched on my arms and he thought it wasn’t very funny. I thought it was, but laughing only ends in the emergency room at the hospital.

in leaving my lap, another explosive tear gas eruption occurred. The windows were open, but it is a hot day, with no breeze. I suffered in silence, he asked to go out and I obliged. The devastation he left behind included a puddle of drool on the desk – he is very old now, and prone to dribbling. Cat dribble is worse than dogs – you expect it with dogs, but cats never dribble. when they do, it is not pleasant at all…

How are the kids going with the house being sold?

They want me to buy another one. they don’t want mummy to know where, and they want to choose it. Sounds like we are going for a drive tomorrow, looking for our new house…

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