Posted by: peterhact | May 10, 2012

Oh, Dear. Someone is getting old. Definitely not gracefully, either

The past few days have been winter. The S&D Cat Module has been lurking in his cat igloo, refusing to emerge till spring. Then, without warning, we got a warm spell. Cue emerging bear from hibernation – he was perplexed. Yowling to go out started as the sun came up. So I obliged. This then became a bout of yowling to come back in, it wasn’t warm enough yet. Back in the cat igloo.

About an hour later, someone wanted to go out again and test the sunshine. Never mind that I was on a con call, running over the keyboard got my attention. (and probably many other people as well) Out he went. The yowling started again. his favorite chair was in the shade.

Check mute is on.

get up, move chair, sit back down, get asked a question and realise mid answer I am on mute. Good job it isn’t a video conference call.

amid a discussion on a new feature of technology, I can hear a strange “plink” noise. S&D Cat module is now halfway up the screen door, looking down at me. Yowling is about to start. He is able to get up there, just like when he was a kitten, but now he is stuck as his feeble cat brain can’t remember how down is achieved. (I have some ideas, involving an end result of the cat landing on the garden beds, the compost heap or over the fence. These may or may not involve a tennis racquet) I opt for old faithful, opening the screen quickly, so he ends up in amongst the flowers. I have to shut the glass door now. someone is not amused at all.

During a break, I duck outside to see how he is going. oh. really? no, tables are not cat beds. no, you cannot attract the next door neighbour’s cat by lying spreadeagled on the table.  We moved houses, remember? anyway the cat turned out to be a very fluffy, very ugly dog. I promise to never speak of it again. I do. I… Look, I have a bit more work to do, just get off the table, OK?

After the con call, I have a bite to eat, then head out to check on him. He is at the other end of the garden. As he sees me, he heads for me. A strange clicking starts. I am searching everywhere for this noise, it sounds like it could be attached to a lizard, a bird or, horrors, another cat who is feral with sharpened talons.

(I had already braved the confined space of the cat inner sanctum to trim his with an angle grinder. They were razor sharp (I realised) in seconds again)

no sign of the sound. The scatterbrained cat realises he was coming to talk to me.  as he runs toward me, the clicking starts as well, only faster. Now I know what it is. His hips are clicking.

The vet has told me that his hips are old (the cat’s, not the vet) There are many options, ranging from the inexpensive to the downright obscenely priced. The vet suggests I consider the ultimate option soon, when he is in pain. ( the cat, not the vet) I will deal with that when it happens. The vet looks disappointed. This look passes very quickly when I let the cat out of the cage for his checkup. It is replaced by the realisation that the cat is between him, his body armor  and his falconry gloves. The cat is pretty annoyed with the vet and someone is going to get hurt very soon. (the vet, not the cat) Where am I? using the cage as a barricade.

After his checkup, The vet tells me he is fine, (the cat, not the vet) in perfect health (the cat, not the vet) and could I please pass him the bandaids so he can get patched up? (the vet, not the cat)

we are sent out to wait in the waiting room to be able to pay. Grumpy old cat sits in his cage, plotting revenge. All the other pets and their owners sit down the other end of the bench. Grumpy old cat is making GRRR, GRRR noises under his breath. While I am paying the bill and apologising to the vet, a new pet owner and pet sits down beside Grumpy old cat, ignoring the calls to get away from there by the other pet owners.

A strange sound starts from the grumpy old cat cage. The vet calls for quiet. The only sound is a cat purring.


The pet owner’s pet is purring too. I look in from a distance. They could be brother and sister!

I take grumpy old cat with a hip problem, bad breath, flatulence and bad teeth home.

He is strangely quiet as he tries to skin me.

Weird. Now he is asleep in his igloo, kitten dreaming and chasing something in his sleep.

Oh, well. He will remember to attack in the morning, he has gone to bed at 4.00pm. I fed him at 3.



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